Despite all of the recent hysteria over young women ruining their lives by delaying marriage and “hooking up,” a new survey suggests what most people probably already know — women (and men) still value an emotional connection when it comes to their sex lives.
A recent Durex survey of 2,000 men and women (all of whom were at least 25 years old) found that 87 percent of women reported that their “hottest sex” was with a partner who they trusted and had a prior relationship with (a.k.a. not a random one-night stand with a stranger), reported Glamour. The vast majority of men (95 percent) also agreed that an emotional connection makes a sexual experience more satisfying, and both genders said they cared more about satisfying their partner than themselves.
This suggests that women — and men — are ultimately looking for more than a hookup with a stranger. The survey doesn’t indicate whether these hot sexual experiences took place in the context of serious relationships or in the context of casual relationships that still involved trust, but it means we probably don’t need to be wringing our hands over the romantic priorities of people in their 20s and 30s.
In her book “The End Of Men,” journalist Hanna Rosin argued that early-20s hookup culture actually benefits women in the long run and does not preclude them from finding a long-term, emotionally satisfying relationship later on. “Ultimately, the desire for a deeper human connection always wins out, for both men and women,” she wrote in an excerpt printed in The Atlantic in September 2012. “Their hookup years are likely to end up as a series of photographs, buried somewhere on their Facebook page, that they do or don’t share with their husband — a memory that they recall fondly or sourly, but that hardly defines them.”
It seems that if women and men are searching for something deeper and more satisfying (both physically and emotionally) than a series of casual hookups, they will find it eventually.